do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
