I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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