She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
COCAINE IS GR8
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
