It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
