so that wasnt chicken after all
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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