Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
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I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
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Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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