Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
