Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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