You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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