I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
