It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
