Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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