so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
