is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
