I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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