just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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