my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
