Taylor Swift is so right about you.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
