how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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