Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
