5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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