You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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