the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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