I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
