I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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