Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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