i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
there was a trapeze. enough said
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
