Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize