i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
