Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
