how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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