i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
