Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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