Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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