How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
