Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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