the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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