i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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