the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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