How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize