It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
