They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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