I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
