i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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