I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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