He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm passing your future prison.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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