Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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