He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
