So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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