He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize