i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
