Just cropdusted the office
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
