there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
