living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
