I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
youre lurking in front of me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
