Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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