so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
