she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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