She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
