oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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