Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
