bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
